The Babylon Bee @babylonbee@gameliberty.club

U.S. — According to sources, leftist protesters around the nation remain totally unaffected by President Donald Trump's deregulation of shower heads.

SAMARIA — According to insiders, King Ahab of Israel lamented a recent meeting he had with the prophet Elijah, admitting that just once he would like the prophets…

LEAWOOD, KS — The warmer spring temperatures sweeping across the nation were met with excitement, as a local man told everyone he saw that he couldn't wait to get…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As public debate intensified over the growing global trade uncertainty, prominent Democrats expressed concern that President Trump may not have…

RICHMOND, VA — As part of a new morning routine, local man Reggie Hayes checked the news to see if his retirement account had vanished or whether he was now a millionaire.

CHICAGO, IL — Devoted White Sox fans were overjoyed last week to discover that Rate Field had just been fully renovated to include new premium indoor suites with…

NEW YORK, NY — Local stockbroker and lifelong Democrat Dean Watter fell into utter despair today, tears falling from his eyes as he watched the stock market recover.

NATCHEZ, MS — Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett was seen smoking a corncob pipe and playing a ditty on her banjo as she drifted down the mighty Mississippi River on…

HUNDRED ACRE WOOD — Local bear Winnie the Pooh has reportedly been left completely destitute after Trump enacted 150% tariffs on the Hundred Acre Wood earlier this…

Down at the VFW today, the boys were saying that some boneheads used a bunch of test tubes to make an extinct wolf come back to life. As if what we needed in this…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The global trade war reached a new level this morning, as President Donald Trump banged a giant gong to signal yet another increase in tariffs…

NEW YORK CITY — Media personality John Oliver dedicated an entire episode of Last Week Tonight to arguing that men could not possibly have innate physical advantages…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite the gloomy outlook reported in the media by countless economists and market experts, President Donald Trump put a positive spin on the…

Trump has imposed tariffs on nearly every country on earth, leading to economic uncertainty and market panic. To ease the burden of these new taxes, countries are…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Global tensions over tariffs continued to rise amid the ongoing trade war, as the White House announced that General Tso's Chicken would be renamed…

DALLAS, TX — Though the week began with exciting news of a scientific breakthrough in reviving a long-gone species of animal, the brand-new dire wolves were reported…

U.S. — With investors pleasantly surprised that a crash has thus far been avoided and the market had rebounded in the wake of new trade tariffs, top analysts clarified…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, Associate Justice Amy Coney Barrett adopted an MS-13 gang member as a show of support for the much maligned community of…

PHOENIX, AZ — In a move intended to fix what experts cited as a years-long imbalance, a local man announced that he was imposing tariffs after his wife had racked…