@Jazzy_Butts it's why i hesitate to say i'm a furry, or that i'm a smash player, because it gives the connotation that i'm part of those communities which i'm really not. i used to be but something about being in a community just feels like a hivemind to me. even in school, i never fit in with a clique or anything like that. i like just doing my own thing.
@beardalaxy I've been in hives before and when it's nice it's really nice, but when it's bad it's really bad. The hive can be addictive. I want that feeling of lockstep unity, but I don't want to give up my freedom, I'm trapped between two desires, pulling in opposite directions.