Coded Artist @coded_artist@gameliberty.club

Okay, I’m now a little over 7 hours into Metroid Prime 4, so while these are still somewhat early impressions, I do at least have a pretty good idea on how the two most infamous aspects of the game actually impact the experience.

Let’s start with the Hecking Wholesome Big Chungus “I Fucking Love Science!”Redditor himself, Myles MacKenzie. Yeah…he’s pretty fucking bad, I ain’t gonna lie. During the first 10-15 minutes that I was exposed to him, I felt like beating Myles MacReddit to death with a tire iron every single time he opened his big, stupid mouth. The good thing is that the game as a whole really doesn’t feel Soy-filled or Reddit-fied – in fact, the atmosphere is often a strong point, ranging from wondrous and ethereal to creepy and menacing – but this also exacerbates just HOW much this imbecile does NOT belong in this game or this world. Being subjected to the buffoonery of Marvel MacKenzie in a Metroid Prime game is very much like watching a good movie while a retarded acquaintance (I would never say “friend”) sitting next to you keeps yapping about stupid bullshit and cracking jokes that never land until he eventually gets the message and for the most part shuts up.

Because yes, thankfully Metroid Prime 4 really frontloaded the Moron MacKenzie buffoonery, so after the game’s opening segment you get exposed to him WAY less, and he even becomes somewhat less insufferable (as in, just 1 out of 3 lines will provoke groans of increasing discomfort rather than 3 out of 3). Obviously, this is good news, but regardless of his screen time the very inclusion of a character like this in a Metroid game was obviously a TERRIBLE and completely baffling decision. To quote AVGN:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxZmiVUQksA

My best guess is that Nintendo is very unhappy with the sales of the Metroid series, and therefore pretty much gave Retro Studios carte blanche to do whatever they felt would appeal to the Normalfags. And I guess since Marvel humor USED to be popular, injecting it into Metroid Prime 4 was thought to be the way to go? I dunno, that’s my only explanation for how this turbo-sperg cringelord even made it past the brainstorming stage.

…also, I can see how the presence of the other Federation troops might also be very objectionable to Metroid purists, but I can at least see how adding a Metroid supporting cast could be justified in theory, and the other guy I’ve encountered so far was completely unobjectionable, so really, my big problem is just with the fucking Redditor.

Now, the OTHER big MP4 controversy had to do with Anakin Skywalker’s ultimate nightmare, that big-ass desert “open world”. This IS another bad addition, and indeed, from the moment it was revealed I had a hard time imagining how this could possibly be anything but a problem. Open world just inherently lends itself to unfocused, sloppy and time-wasting game design, and Metroid Prime 4’s desert compounds the problem by being really damn empty. And the few times you DO come across something of note while driving your futuristic motorcycle across the desert, you’ll probably just find that you haven’t even gotten the ability you need to obtain the hidden collectable yet. There’s a reason why Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom both give you all your core abilities in the starting area – this kind of open world just inherently clashes with a Metroidvania design, since exploration isn’t really rewarding when you’re constantly being denied that very reward.

That said, just like how the best thing about the UN is its uselessness, the best thing about Sol Valley is precisely the fact that there’s so little to do there, meaning that it usually just acts as an oversized hub world, mercifully not taking up much of your time at all. Samus’s new motorcycle IS also quite speedy and fun to control, so while the desert is empty, it at least doesn’t take very long to traverse. The sand might be coarse and rough and irritating, but in this game at least it doesn’t actually get everywhere. Still a completely wrongheaded design choice of course, but more of an unfortunate misstep than a game-ruining blunder.

It of course helps that Metroid Prime 4 does boast a ton of virtues to offset its much-publicized vices: not only is it gorgeous to look at and controls extremely well, but I’ve already come across a number of absolutely superb songs too, and the different environments have also been great. As I mentioned earlier the atmosphere is powerful and immersive whenever a certain dumbass isn’t actively bothering you, the boss battles have been really fun, there’s been some really nice, satisfying puzzles and Samus is looking set to end up with a very cool moveset. For the most part it absolutely feels like a fresh, high-quality Metroid Prime entry – just marred by two glaring mistakes. It remains to be seen just how much damage the insufferable Redditor and the open world no sane person wanted eventually end up doing, but so far at least I’ve found Metroid Prime 4’s strong points to more than make up for its flaws.

Vtuber moment

this is what it was in reference to:

basically a no-win position for Cinnabon ( but we need to make sure it is a no win by punishing them )

this is probably his best tweet to date

you can usually identify the main characters in medieval fantasy movies because they don’t wear helmets and always have perfectly styled hair

I like where your heads at Ilhan. Im just confused why you are a brave freedom fighter for saying this and im a monster for doing so?

#nsfw #frieren

>oh a "former nurse" killed this innocent woman? that's an odd description, i wonder wh--
>ohhhhhh right of course

I wish it was these journalists getting SINGH'D alone and terrified on a beach so we can write fun and creative headlines about them

is that better or worse.. necromancy #seatree_2025_12