lilith @lily1155@gameliberty.club

@Droidgirl ive been considering making a twitter just bcos more of my map friends have twitters than a mastodon but it also sounds really shit for anything but having my friends there, i think i just need to use mastodon more until i know people here >_>

@amaranta@freak.university i dont actually think abuse would increase that much if the amount of relationships did? i think a lot of people that would avoid it because of the stigma would generally not want to hurt kids, avoiding anything to do with kids wouldnt just be out of fear of repercussion but bcos of an internalisation of the belief its harmful too. i'm not a utilitarian but there seems to be a major flaw in this view of how it follows utilitarian principles. you don't seem to be taking into account what positive impacts a healthy relationship can have on someone, and more instances of abuse doesnt necessarily mean things are worse if people can more easily escape abuse. after all, a smaller amount of harm to more people can be better than a large amount to fewer. generally i think people who would abuse children benefit from these things being taboo, the kids know because of this taboo going for help could result in a harsh retaliation from a paranoid abuser. and it doesnt just affect people who want to have sex or relationships with kids, people wanting to be friends with kids and offer protection and support from abusive family members (the majority of where abuse comes from, further making me suspect whether increasing relations with kids would do much to further abuse. i mean its not pedophiles doing the abusing! its drunk fathers with miserable lives looking for someone helpless to take out their frustrations on) will find that their actions will be frequently interpreted as pedophilic even if no sexual or romantic desire exists, and normalisation of this desire would go a long way to mean children can form platonic relationships with adults and not be isolated with relatives and school authorities and others in positions of power over them that typically do the sexually abusing of children.

also, i think studies are pretty useful if you learn how to read them. the methodologies are usually very explicitly laid out, you can understand very well what things were controlled for and taken into account to find useful statistics and what they expect the limitations to be and use this information to come to your own conclusions about any limitations you think they missed

@amaranta@freak.university these relationships arent currently doing more harm than good based on multiple research papers id be happy to send you, and if they were legal children would have some recourse when they are harmful that they currently dont. when a relationship is abusive, often you still care about your abuser, often you feel your love for them isnt wrong, but merely that some things they do hurt you deeply, and you want them to stop, and sometimes this is unrealistic and you need to escape, but you might not want to end that persons life by getting them arrested, but if you tell someone they might tell the cops. you might not want them to tell you this relationship is innapropriate just because of the age gap, not because of any of the violence inflicted upon you. abusing and raping people is already illegal and frowned upon by society. by normalising these relationships we 1. allow minors the basic right to determine for themselves if theyve been hurt or not, 2. allow them to speak up without having their desires invalidated and without having to have their partner arrested or shunned by society for the pedophilia but not the abuse. i know a lot of people who felt very hurt when problems with older partners were flattened to the age gap issue and the abuse was ignored outright. i am, one of these people. people barely acknowledged the abuse i suffered! the only wrong anyone ever got from it was that i had relations with someone older than me, except i had that with people who didnt hurt me at all too and to think something that gave me ptsd and something that gave me fond memories are the same is repulsive to me. I think these beliefs of mine probably place me firmly in the pro-c camp, but the idea i'd be blindly in support of this is ridiculous. i think children are vulnerable and i think things would need to change in how society views and treat children so that abuse could be minimise. but i also believe most relationships with these age gaps aren't abusive. and i think age of consent is really arbitrary in its placement. i havent heard a single good reason why it should be placed where it is. brain development, in the sense of maturation to an adult form finishes at 25 on average, and thats just an average. i would be under that age of consent even though im a few years above the ages of consent in the countries ive lived in. though ultimately it could be true these relationships and age of consent are both bad. i think even if they were usually bad though focusing on preventing them from happening would still be wrong. rather i think we should do our best to empower children to be able to leave a bad situation and be able to discuss without fear of judgement and being torn away from their partner how a relationship is going and any concerns they might have. it often takes a lot of discussion like this for someone to even accept a relationship is abusive after all. and a minor is more at risk of going along with the beliefs of an abuser.

also nice pfp :p

the language of pro/anti contact with pedophilia seems really really weird to me. im actually a bit unclear, is contact here meant to mean literally any contact with kids? are anti contact people like, insistent pedos shouldnt be allowed near kids or something? or is it just about sex/romantic involvement w kids? what the fuck does it mean to be pro contact? like, you think pedos being in contact with kids or having sex w them isnt just like, not intrinsically immoral, but is in fact good? it feels like ppl use these terms to mean about sex, with the pro contact side being just, thinking its okay, not thinking its somehow virtuous and morally upstanding to fuck kids. a position i would agree with, bcos minors are people and i think its just one of many abhorrent ways we strip children of the autonomy everyone deserves. but the wording of pro and anti contact just feels so confusing and unclear. and unnecessary! it doesnt take many words to say u think kids can or cannot consent, or that u think pedos should or shouldnt be allowed near kids if it really is meant like that too, why even is it necessary to call urself anti/pro-c

i havent used this account in ages, and its mostly bcos i haven't needed to. i made it to be anonymous and to talk abt pedophilia somewhere where thered be hopefully no judgement and if there was who gives a shit if its no one i know or like. but, ive been making lots of pedo friends and have found other places to do everything i wanted to. like, talk abt how i feel or be horny or whatever the fuck. i think i might use it a bit more now, just bcos the environment here seems interesting. sometimes might be nice 2 say something my friends dont hear. but the original need for a space where i can even talk at *all* about being a pedo has already been fulfilled

@NekoNekoNyanNyan ive done this so many times recently

@Spaghettimon i hope so! that'd make sense. just in the past like two weeks since i let myself say that's what i am it's become a lot easier to talk about it even if its still very hard, so you're probably right

@tsumi probably freak out for a bit before doing something like one of the nice helpful responses but i'd definitely be thinking abt raping her again, up until the point helping her makes me emotionally attached at least

@ZetoShemPro as a kid this stuff pissed me off so much, like people acting like i couldn't make decisions for myself or be trusted to have thought it through was the worst fucking part of being a child, and the way everyone thinks they're protecting you for thinking so lowly of you is infuriating

i made this account to talk about the thoughts and urges i have around being a pedophile but i'm so used to repressing it it's really uncomfortable to say anything even somewhere no one knows me

@Elea sleep well, i hope u feel better tomorrow