It's crazy how so many people went from trying to distinguish lolicon from pedophilia to trying to push the idea that they are one in the same. It's just the anti/puritan argument on the opposite side of the coin.

It feels so unnatural to me. I wonder, is this a result of a self-fulfilling prophecy or of labeling theory? Did it start as a glow-op that has now been adopted, marking the operation as a success? Are people afraid of living on the razor's edge so they default to the easiest position that still grants them the ability to feel good about their actions?

Or... was it always like this and I just didn't notice until recently? Am I really just different? Am I alone? I have no interest in children. Pedophiles who like lolicon never seem to believe me when I say that but I still think they are projecting the way they see the artwork onto me and thinking they have the one true way of looking at it. To me, there is a very clear line between what is real and what is fantasy and I really hate when people try and blur that line or try to convince me that they are one in the same. It's a lot worse coming from people who also like lolicon than it is people who just hate all of it. I know there is obviously crossover with pedophiles and lolicons. No shit! When they can't keep things separate though, it just feels... intrusive.

Honestly, I'm quite the emotional person. I see this happening and it makes me sad. It makes me angry. I feel useless. I feel invalid. The people trying to blend pedophile stuff with lolicon genuinely make my heart sink and it's a very visceral feeling. One that sometimes literally keeps me awake at night. Not going to lie... I feel like some entity has broken into my house and made their presence known and there's nothing I can do about it.

I sometimes get a little lost in the sauce and consider just giving up lolicon entirely if this is actually how it is. Though, then, I suppose I'd feel like a failure anyway and do the exact thing I would be critical of. Going to the easiest position that still grants me the ability to feel good about my actions. Something I value a lot about myself is my integrity (some may call it rebellion). I've never been the type to just fall in line, and the times I've felt that I had to have been the worst of my life. The ONLY way I'm going to feel good about my actions is if I'm paving my own way.

I'm going to just try to keep being myself and I'll always do that, even if I have to stand alone. For now, though, I really appreciate anyone who stands with me.