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Like how I've heard guys say their wife looks more beautiful when she's pregnant, I think my wife would look more beautiful if she was drinking horse cum.

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Why does a woman look more beautiful to me when she is drinking horse cum?

I'm so happy right now that I'm even thinking positive thoughts about the future, like, how I'm SURE I'll find plenty of good paraphile friends irl if I try. I know it'll be hard because it's so dangerous to try and connect with others as a paraphile, bit I've seen people do it and nothing bad ever happened. I'm tired of being afraid and lonely.

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GOD I'M FEELIN GOOD THANK GOD FOR THAT I'M ACTUALLY SMILING I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHH :blobderpyhappy:

My no porn no fap is going rough, so horny I just edged to Ellen DeGeneres

Want to fap so bad but my body hurts too much, the doctor even said I was "tensing up too much" which sounds like a euphemism for "stop fapping or you will get carpal tunnel and you will also break your dick"

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Gn fedi frens I am fighting masturbation demons, are there any good trad girls who can help save me from masturbation via marriage and unprotected sex on demand as is a trad husbands right?

Oh my god.......I did the math and a conservative estimate is that over the last 5 years I have masturbated a total of 70 days, that is 1,680 hours. How do I stop?? How do I stop?? You're all wizards who never masturbate, (that's the vibe I get), how do you do it??

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Scully worries about Mulder's new burger habit. Doggett makes that one face, thinks wistfully of his dead kid.

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Skinner bears the weight of a bee secret. Scully.

I was a hardcore gamer from like 2006 to 2016, all I played on was the 360 because that's all I had. I played a lot of shooters like Titanfall. I would play too much. The longest I ever gamed for was probably like 30hrs no sleep. I did it more than once because I was very mentally sick and I knew at the time I was taking years off my life but would justify it. I can't game anymore because I have pain issues, can't play competitively if I can't see the screen because I'm wincing from holding my posture up to see the screen.

Saw little 10 year old white boys running around the grocery store and I overheard the one saying to the other "OHH OH, THAT ONE'S GAS, no WAIT, THIS one's gas!"

"Gas" has replaced "cool"

*Sings cowboy song playing guitar*

🎶Fedi frens, they break my heart when they don't follow back
Interacted with my posts, then said 'later, Jack'
I wonder if I messed up, and I want 'em back
Fedi frens oh fedi frens, where did we lose track

*guitar solo*

Fedi frens oh fedi frens, I still do love you
Now you know the way I go, my story is through 🎶

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Game Liberty Mastodon

Mainly gaming/nerd instance for people who value free speech. Everyone is welcome.