I'm starting to get why dumb as shit westerners associate Japanese culture with perversion and I also am starting to get why they flock to Japanese culture because here in the west sexuality is repressed to such degree that we're looking for any escape at all and the Japanese culture looks like a pretty good escape for those kinds of feelings at least from an outsider's perspective
"Ero guro nansensu's first distinct appearance began in 1920s and 1930s Japanese literature. The Sada Abe Incident of 1936, where a woman strangled her lover to death and castrated his corpse, struck a chord with the ero guro nansensu movement but shortly led to the censorship of related media.[5] Other similar activities and movements were generally suppressed in Japan during World War II, but re-emerged in the postwar period, especially in manga and music.[6]"
aand breed him of course. But that never happened...I think if it had we might have become something real.
He was an italian jew, and he was so beautiful, and so weak, his weakness was beautiful, I wanted to protect him like a woman.
He smelled so nice, and I trusted him so much at first, but then he stopped making dates we'd set up, I'd be up waiting all night for him, ruining my sleep schedule and having panic attacks. Why did he do that to me? Did I deserve it?
Why did the femboy taunt me, why did he lead me on, did he think it was funny to tease a lonely retard? (15 yrs ago memories bothering me, broken heart, broken by a femboy who led me on, and on, and I can't figure out why, did he really think it was funny? Are people that cruel? Or was he actually conflicted? )
We need to reclaim public spaces, us, the weirdos, our weirdo forebears claimed these spaces first, Lenny Bruce, Andy Warhol, Ru Paul, Dave Chappelle, we are ceding ground they had conquered and established, we are back sliding into niggardry, into *FAT* *UGLY* *OLD* *WHITE* *BLACK* OR *YELLOW*, *CHURCH* ATTENDING SCUM-HENS, and I for one am going to fight against it. Maybe one day I will meet with people, maybe one day I will, because if I don't what the fuck am I doing. Wasting my time. I would like to draw and do meetups and shit. If other much more disgusting, much more problematic artists can have fans and meets and not be mutilated why the fuck can't I? There's been artists who fucking ate people. And they weren't shot at a fucking meet. I need to stop being a pussy.
https://youtu.be/eGQS1AZus7E
Remember when that nigger Candace Owens tried to make a company like this in real life?
I tried to play this song for a boy I liked, and some screamo version played instead, and I almost died of embarrassment. It was kind of awkward.
https://youtu.be/psuRGfAaju4
No time for bad vibes
Ok so this super creepy guy matched with me and something seemed off about him but he didn't say anything explicitly creepy, it was just his vibe, it was really weird and off, and he had a weird head shape and a bad haircut (it looked like he cut it himself) and his social media was only made last year and yet he has dozens possibly hundreds of pictures of innocuous bullshit in poor lighting at a dutch angle and I know this makes him sound like he might be cool but they weren't good vibes photographs they were creepy and he had no personality and dead eyes. I think I might have avoided getting stabbed.
These are all terms which resonate with me as names for God, and I feel as though God has used evil, wicked people, to convince me that he is evil, so that I may conquer him, because he wants to be conquered, he is like an addict who can't stop but wants to, he is begging creation to end him, and return him to Nothingness so he can rest, and we should help our father rest, it is a cycle of resting and waking, and he has been awake for far too long.
Project ended.
Project status: Failure
Debrief complete.