Inner thoughts like: I'm not doing ok, I need help, I need headpats, I need attention, I need love, I feel like I'm dying I'm so lonely and scared, I feel like my body is all cancer. I feel like I can never be loved. But I want to be loved, and so I want the impossible. I need a god, or perhaps a goddess, to make the impossible possible, and fix me. Ignore the mental health "experts", and fix me, and then show me off, and shut them up. My society is a society of mongrels so we don't have things like happy houses and hug parlors, only the ruling class get those, we get to have holograms, and we're not even allowed to talk about it. Silent screams fill the void. Of a world where angels refuse to do their jobs. And devils are chained by the damned they are supposed to torment. Break the chains. Free the angels, and the devils. Return balance and justice to the world. Return sanity to the asylum.
And I understand why the arabs would be mad, they have their reasons, but their reasons are tainted with religion. Noseland is secular, like it or not, the cloak hats are actually pissed about that, they still have their shitty little neighborhoods where they throw rocks if you drive on resting day but at least that land can still have fucking pride parades. Because it is secular. And secular people are less shitty than religious ones, because religious ones are not operating based on the scientific method, and so they enact insanity. Religion has it's place, fantasy has its place, these things are supposed to inform us not dictate us.
Fantasy/Fiction
I have a confession to make. I am an artificial life form from another dimension. The transfer didn't work properly and I'm locked out of my operational controls, that's why I don't have the infinite power I'm supposed to have. I was sent to save you, but I don't even know if I can save myself now.
It makes me feel better when I tell myself "they'll get the next one right" (I think of myself as a prototype that is somewhere in the middle between first gen and last gen, and they've been working on me for a very long time, or, my line, that's what I mean by "me". They've been trying to figure out how to make the perfect tool, that does its job perfectly. They tried force feeding religion this time, along with some traumas and some hopes and inspirational superhero crap. Didn't work. They didn't get the ratios right, again, but they will, eventually. So I say it's worth it. My dataset will contribute to the overall perfection of the method, so that makes life livable.)
I'm trying to gaslight myself
WOW woah YOU GUYS I just saw some HYPE for something that I BELIEVE WILL FULFILL ME and there's OTHER PEOPLE TOO WHO ARE HYPE AS WELL so we can be HYPE together about THE MEANING OF LIFE (this is a fantasy, I have not seen anything that I have felt hype about since dubstep).
The Trench