LukeAlmighty 🇨🇿 @LukeAlmighty@gameliberty.club

@Royper @givenup @jew

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purge the xenos

Literally me

Oy vey

Why are leftists like this?

The SpaceX team sent and received our first text messages through our Direct to Cell satellites just six days after launch → http://starlink.com/updates

Cool that they can't even TRY to court white boys again, because they're too laden with fags calling the DIE shots.

And then of course, there’s her looks – Samus is a perfect specimen of Aryan beauty and athleticism, and Nintendo has always been happy to show off her stunning body, even during the NES days. Unlike Sony’s Strong Independent Female Protagonists, who all wish they could be half the action heroine that Samus is, the Metroid girl has been depicted in-game wearing all sorts of fanservice outfits, from leotards and sports bras to her defining skin-tight bodysuit.

Even more interestingly, Samus isn’t confined to being blonde – there exist canonical depictions of Samus with brown hair, and even GREEN hair. Of course, her standard look is as a blonde, but those early, in-game Samus designs add some surprising variety to her looks – it’s not just Pyra that can act as multiple girls in one! In a way, Samus is the opposite of Touhou girls like Patchouli – while they lack a single, defining canonical design, Samus boasts multiple, and they’re all stunning.

Of course, stuff like this is why Samus proved so invincible in the contest – she just boasts so many strengths, and practically no weaknesses! She’s a jack of all trades, AND a master of all. She delivers in terms of extremely high quality games, good characterization AND coomer appeal aplenty. She’s badass AND has a snuggable ass. Her one limitation is her being a Nintendo-exclusive character, but Fedi being so adept as sailing the seven seas, and fan games like AM2R, makes that less of a handicap than you might think.

In the end, Samus being so sublime enabled her to buck all sorts of trends we otherwise saw in this tournament. Tifa getting anti-voted HARD for being a “Normalfag” choice? Samus had a mere *19* people vote against her during the match with Yuri. Most Nintendo girls struggling or even failing to qualify? Samus still soared. Her greatness is undeniable, and now only the following question remains: Is Samus TOO strong?

#BestVidyaGirlContest

When TeamFourStar named Freeza the #1 Dragon Ball villain, they started off by saying the following: “Sure, you could call us boring, but we don't find value in contrarianism just for its own sake – some things are obvious because they are RIGHT.”

You could say the same thing about Samus winning the #BestVidyaGirlContest – unless Touhoumania ran absolutely wild on Fedi, the iconic Metroid heroine was the obvious favorite, and even if you didn’t root for her, you have to admit she was the favorite for a good reason. It’s like the Nigger word winning a Best Racial Slur contest – sure, you might think Moon Cricket is the funnier, more interesting slur, or you might be amazed by Porch Monkey going on a Cinderella run, but still, when Nigger inevitably wins that contest, nobody can deny that it’s a worthy winner.

Same thing with Samus in the best vidya girl contest – this girl has been a legendary Waifu for DECADES, while simultaneously being one of gaming’s greatest action heroes. She’s been the leading lady of classic game after classic game, Super Metroid and Metroid Prime in particular being regular fixtures on Best Game Ever lists, and Metroid Dread being the 2021 GOTY (The Gay Awards got it wrong, as always). Samus belongs to a very exclusive club of video game heroes who have completely mastered 2D *and* 3D, alongside fellow Nintendo icons Mario and Link (and arguably Rayman of all characters, before Ubisoft kicked him to the curb).

That said, in terms of characterization Samus is actually far more interesting than either the plumber or the elf. While she did start off as yet another blank slate silent protagonist (as well as, famously, a Reverse Trap), later games have allowed her more characterization, and she even has a canon manga origin story that’s referenced in the GBA remake of the first Metroid game. Additionally, Metroid is pretty much the only somewhat story-driven Nintendo series that follows the same protagonist over multiple games, and allows her to undergo lasting and meaningful changes, as well as suffer permanent losses. When Samus wrecks her classic gunship in Metroid Fusion, that fucker ain’t coming back, the bounty hunter has to get a new ship.

Speaking of said characterization, there are a number of thing we learn about Samus - While technically a bounty hunter, the girl is very much a kind person wanting to do good, it's just that working as a bounty hunter grants her more freedom to do the right thing than working for the Galactic Federation, which is somewhat morally shady (as highlighted in Metroid Fusion). She's far from a greedy Jew just in it for her paycheck - in Super Metroid, she literally goes out of her way to rescue a group of trapped animals WHILE THE PLANET IS BLOWING UP, earning their eternal gratitude.

Samus is also very comfortable with men and male authority. Apparently Other M implied that she has daddy issues, which isn't really accurate at all - while her parents DID get killed while Samus was just 3 years old (with her father sacrificing himself to take out most of the space pirates that wiped out their human colony), she was afterwards taken in and raised by the Chozo bird people, a hyper-advanced, but dying species that already seems to have lost most, if not all its women, and failed to reproduce due to being Stone Cold (at any rate, all the named Chozo we ever hear about are men), so Samus grew up with plenty of strong male role models.

Later on Samus becomes very close to Adam, her commanding officer in the Galactic Federation (Samus doesn't trust the Federation as a whole, but she trusts Adam). Adam even teases Samus in this semi-sexist way, asking her "Any objections, Lady?" whenever giving her an order. Far from being offended by this, Samus appreciates this little in-joke, and it becomes their thing. The line is also a minor plot point in both Metroid Fusion AND Metroid Dread, believe it or not.

Samus and her relationship with the Baby Metroid has been debated, with some arguing that Samus saw it as a surrogate child, while others contend that she primarily identified with it because it reminded Samus of her own situation after Ridley and his band of space pirates destroyed her colony. Either way, Samus was obviously appreciative and protective of the Baby Metroid, and it repaid her mercy and kindness by becoming very devoted to her in response. There’s no reason to think Samus wouldn’t be a good mother, when the time comes.

not-my cartoon that's important:

it underlines, that practice is more important than polishing and perfection:

Tomboys

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