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b e a r d
I'm not retarded enough to have a girlfriend who is also retarded but I'm not normal enough to have a girlfriend that isn't retarded
I think I have this superpower that attracts gay people, no matter how "homophobic" I am.
I have one gay friend, and we're constantly trying to make the other submit in verbal tussles.
One time we joked about going to an arcade and duking it out on Dance Dance Revolution.
@beardalaxy
So, too normie for me 
@beardalaxy one of my close friends has a girlfriend who shares many of my mannerisms.
Whenever we're all together, he's bringing up how we both act the same, heh