Update on my condition: I just talked to my doctor, after discussing with him about what's going on and some extensive testing it looks like things aren't good. The doctor says I desperately need some pussy as quickly as possible. I'm in Canada so it looks like I'm just going to fucking die.
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Reminder that the number one telltale sign of someone being full of shit is if they suck off India as a civilization, especially relative to Western Christendom.