I'm finally home

No clue what's wrong with the car but imo it's just that the battery was on it's last legs and now is toast and the alternator doesn't provide enough power when idling to keep the car alive.

The car doesn't have a fucking manual parking brake release!

@matrix based

@graf based taxi driver took us home instead of picking up his gf

@matrix just replace the battery. (If you cannot for some reason, you can likely make do for a while by keeping it on a charger while the car is parked.)
Charging the battery is a burden to the charging system. It isn't necessarily always strong enough to charge a broken or discharged battery *and* keep the car running at the same time. Especially if you use a lot of extra power through lights or indicators while idling at a traffic light.

@juliangro too late
I was saying to replace the battery from start and was ignored

@juliangro it's mostlikely not the battery, the guy from the tow truck tried to jump start it so he could release the brake and the car didn't even tried to start, it's completely dead, there's probably some electrical fault

@matrix @juliangro nothing from the OBD2 port? Fuses good?

Hopefully the ECU or something didn't fry itself

@matrix that doesn't necessarily mean that the battery isn't the problem. If he didn't disconnect the battery, that battery might have drawn too much power.
Also most modern cars won't even try to start if the voltage is too low. On my old Ford you would hear constant clicking, but it wouldn't even try to crank.
Our VW wouldn't even start when connected to a running car with a full battery while the old battery was still connected.

@matrix this whole thing sounds like someone playing My Summer Car or The Long Drive.

@matrix what kind of car is this for context

@Pawlicker 2017 Chrysler Pacifica

@matrix oh no no no
Not a fca or Stellaris or whoever they call themselves now car 💀

@Pawlicker @matrix on cryslers the alternator has never made much in the way of current at idle

this is a problem that goes back to the introduction of alternators on their products

back then it was because all current flowed to the dashboard ammeter before the rest of the vehicle, these days who the fuck knows

@despair @matrix well he mentioned signs of rodent damage and that absolutely fucks up some canbus vehicles more than others.

I had rodent damage and the gauge cluster functions for navigation and music selection etc quit working but it was drivable.

@matrix yeah so if yours has auto start stop it has two batteries. You have to replace both at once as well.
https://www.pacificaforums.com/threads/not-sure-what-is-going-on.46915/

The other issue is rodents and this happened to a car I had too, also canbus issues.
https://www.pacificaforums.com/threads/total-electrical-system-failure-intermittent-update-solved.46920/

@Pawlicker It doesn't have start stop.
It's quite possible rodents chewed on some wire. When we were on vacation in Menton (the same place as this year) last year and coolant started leaking there was a pretty big slash in the tube. Do rats like warm moist carparks several stories deep under the sea?

@matrix yeah look for damage and they do love sewers