YZZAJ @Jazzy_Butts@gameliberty.club

@cummies @opal @bitterblossom @prouddegenerate I got some from a doc, and then some more from an rn when I ran out. This is the first time they've finally given me the pills I asked for instead of just giving me relaxers and sending me to pt and chastising my lifestyle (of which they are ignorant to, because they do not ask, they simply say to do more and sit down less, which is patronizing af). I have my first appointment with a real pain mngmt doc next month and so hopefully they understand wtf they're looking at and that pills will help, not hurt me.

@cummies @opal @bitterblossom @prouddegenerate When I was young I had it for wizard reasons but I never figured on doing it regularly. But once I got hurt and things started compounding as the years went on, experience taught me exactly what I needed.

@opal @tarperfume @prouddegenerate taking time, energy, and money, and spending it to give kids in need blankets and toothbrushes and toys last week made me feel powerful

@tarperfume @opal @prouddegenerate I feel powerless and need to figure out a way to get my feeling of power back without dominating and controlling another, because while that would probably work it would invalidate my moral standing. It would be wrong.

@tarperfume @opal @prouddegenerate I suppose you're right

@tarperfume @opal @prouddegenerate Yea, I've trained myself into things before, so I can, I just have to get hope again, a goal to fight for, and I'll be out there. But I just don't see any goals. Everything I want, I'm not allowed to have, so I just stand still, motionless in life, waiting for authority to give me permission to live again.

@tarperfume @opal @prouddegenerate And I guess now I'm talking publicly about it, which is kind of a big step

@bitterblossom @opal @prouddegenerate I am science minded not feels minded, so I am very strict with myself compared to normies, that's why even though I love opiates more than anything I never became addicted and I never became dependent and I never put my safety at risk to aquire them. I have skip days that I'm not allowed to miss when I have pills, I can do it, I can manage with this medicine in ways most can't, the docs just refuse to believe me. I've been dealing with this for 10 years so I'm time tested not just talking out my butt.

@bitterblossom @opal @prouddegenerate Muscle relaxers make my mouth very dry, I would use them if not for that. It's intolerable because I already have throat problems, if I was in better condition I could probably stand it.

@tarperfume @opal @prouddegenerate I talked to my mom about it recently, and that helped, but no one else.

@bitterblossom @opal @prouddegenerate I view opiates as a valuable tool, and a dangerous enemy. If they are not played with, they are good. Chinese had a saying, a man who smokes opium more than 3 times a day is an addict. People have used opium for thousands of years functionally, it wasn't until corporate pieces of shit started pushing it that it became a problem, and now the pendulum has swung too far in response. Opiates are not a cureall, but they are also not the devil.