I saw a news story about a elementary school teacher with an ass so fat, who dresses so sluttily, and has an ig with her thirst trapping all day, and parents are mad trying to get her fired because their kids are "distracted by her body". I'm just like YESSSSSS PEDO TEACHER LADY YESSSSSSSS JIGGLE THAT FAT ASS FOR THOSE ELEMENTARY SCHOOLERS
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I don't know anything about this webcomic 🤷♂️
New commission available: Suzy and Mr. Spender, from Paranatural.
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Vent/Animal Control
ANY KITS TRAPPED WILL NOT BE KILLED, AND WILL BE HANDED OFF TO PROFESSIONAL WILDLIFE REHABILITATORS (felt I should mention this)
Vent/Animal Control
In the meantime I have placed snap traps around the garden with peanut butter, in the hope that if they snap their snoots they will be scared enough to fuck off for good so I won't have to kill them.
Vent/Animal Control
I grew these tomatos zen style, that means by hand, every day, taking care of them, appreciating them, and these fucks, these pieces of shit who did not respect my territory, stole from me, my biggest, and ripest tomato. These were special heirloom tomatoes and I cannot simply buy them. These raccoons have entered the lions den, they could smell my scent but did not respect my territory, now they will face the consequences of their foolishness. ![]()
Vent/Animal Control
Raccoons ate my tomatoes so now I'm going to trap and humanely kill every raccoon on my property. They fucked around and now they will find out. Also they ate my pets years ago, but the tomato was the final straw. I am helping evolution, only raccoons with genes that say "stay away from humans, do not eat their tomatoes" will survive.
I love animals but I also do not tolerate shit. And yes, I would rather relocate them, but they will very likely be ripped apart slowly by raccoons already established in that area. Humanely killing them is the only way to keep my animals and plants safe, and spare the Raccoons a torturous death.
Fantasy
After so many years of looking I finally found him, he was strung out on dope and nearly dead but he was mine. Enough time had passed that I wouldn't be a suspect. I rolled up on him as if by chance, and made contact, he soon recognized who I was, and agreed to let me help him. He was desperate. I took him back to my house and set him up with a room. He was passed out on heroin by that evening. I handfuffed and shackled him and waited. Once he woke up he was pissed, and it took some convincing to get him into the basement. He was never one for fear, doesn't have much of it in him. I anally raped him with a cattle prod to gain compliance. Once he was in the basement I beat the fuck out of him starting with his feet. He would die in that basement. Once dead I disarticulated his body and froze it, then dissolved the pieces at my leisure. I'll never forget, he kept asking why I was doing what I did to him. I never told him. I figured it would be scarier for him if I didn't say anything. But I'll tell you. He was rude to me. Disrespectful. Not humble. One day he started telling me about how he raped the emo girl from class, simply because he found out I liked her. He wasn't lying either, he did rape her. Which is why what I did to him was so satisfying. I told him I'd be paying his sister, mother, and daughter a visit before his lights went out, just to fuck with him. He kind of freaked the fuck out after that and stopped responding. I broke him. I never did pay them a visit, but I wanted to, so he believed me. But I, unlike him, am and always have been capable of controlling my wants.
The Trench