I've been thinking about burdens, and while it's understood that everyone has their own to carry it is clear that some are being crushed while others are able to skip down the street. Then there are the cases where it is not so clear, the popular person who commits suicide, or the crybully who is the eternal faultless victim no matter how well things are for them and their loved ones. I have no solution, and the situation seems like a cruel joke. I'll end with a poem.
A joke within a joke, a dream within a dream
All the things of the world are not what they seem
Secrets within secrets, eyes within eyes
Who watches the mournful watcher while he cries
I watched some old dbz and it was surreal because I saw what I think adults who didn't grow up with it saw. It was from the Ginyu saga and it was just so. much. fucking. exposition. From gohan. Just talking, and talking, and talking, and it was delivery that made me cringe not the exposition itself.
The greeks classing actors as the same as prostitutes were very astute. So many actors contribute very little, being an actor isn't like engineering a functional thing that gets lots of use, it's a eay to bring momentary distraction to an audience. I love the distraction but I'd rather my life be satisfactory enough that such a distraction is not needed as an escape to postpone suicide.
"It's so hot when you're relaxed and gooning, you really aren't like other guys, they're weird but you're cool."
Sketch from a afternoon, Two of my OC Holly and Preety being the best of pals and making some extra money on the side.
you can find out more about them here. https://disclaimish.com/index.php/comic/holly-summer-job/
also working on a comic with this two on the substar
https://subscribestar.adult/disclaimer
I've fallen in love with two girls who died young, I keep thinking I'm over it but I don't think I am. One was a new friend, but she was an innocent, just a girl with good intentions. I let her in, the trust was there, but I couldn't tolerate her lifestyle. I distance myself thinking she'd change to get on my good side again. She was dead a few weeks later from an overdose. Second girl, knew her as a kid, we grew up a little together, spent lots of time by ourselves playing pretend and talking about anime. She was overweight, and at the time I didn't find her attractive, but when we were adults, and I saw her again, I couldn't deny she was doing it for me, all the feelings. We arranged to meet up at my place after wr started talking again, and we had some of the most relaxing, fulfilling, 10+ years long comin, sex. It felt really good with her. I'd had "hotter" girls, and truth be told most girls might have been hotter girls, but in that moment in that spot, I could see a life with this chick, and as I'm playing with the idea, we drift apart. Next thing I know she's got a boyfriend. Next next thing I know is her parents found her dead in her bed. No drugs in her system. She spent her whole life losing that weight, to where she looked good, and then she fucking dies. Is there something I could have done? For either of them? I want to save them but it's over and they're never coming back, sunflower will never laugh at one of my jokes, or lounge in bed with me while we watch flapjack on cartoon network. I will never get to ask my friend wolfgirl where she thinks our relationship's going, if there's any potential for us to he happy together...there are times where I lust after a woman and I feel like I'm betraying them, or like I don't deserve a "replacement" girl, and the "replacement" girl doesn't deserve to be the girl of a broken person like me, so much undealt with inside my head that I don't even know what's going on. All I think, is... pretty meaningless, I don't know why I'm typing, it won't bring them back.
The Trench