YZZAJ @Jazzy_Butts@gameliberty.club

https://youtu.be/DPPfYPwVOVw?si=qSFpn3KfN2aMb5P8

I feel like I'm almost over my traumas from years ago, it's so sad to move on, my body will always hold the scars, but I don't have to live in that moment forever. My only worry is, every time I think I've figured out what I did wrong, it happens all over again. It hurts. And I'm alone. My pain is mine alone. Pity me. My mother taught me to have a closed off heart. Like hers, only superficially connecting to others. Never sharing the tears over the fears of loss. I need to know I'm ok. I need a mother who holds me while she cries, gently, she doesn't reject me, she doesn't clutch at me, she doesn't subdue her emotions, I just want a mother to hold me and cry and not let go, until she stops, and moves on from being sad.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm weird my monk.ey.business retoots aren't showing up in my gl.e feed

https://youtu.be/e0dyNKq1Um0?si=rNH5M_rT3coJMkev

I haven't been able to sleep right for a few weeks now, I think it's from depression.

Whenever I see "marvel studios" or something trending I just pray that it's "marvel studios shutting down over legal trouble" or something, but it never is. It never is.

I've got to beat my monkey side back and control it to be a better person, the animal in me is wild and untamed, is that what autism is? Being an eternal child? A half retard? Certainly my mode of expression is retarded, but I was walking at a very early age. I didn't play games, I hit life hard, and it hit me back harder. I wonder if I'll ever be a smooth boss, a champ like I was supposed to be before I lost it all. Everything I worked for. Everything. Almost everything...not everything...I could rebuild. And so I've tried, and it is slow going, I don't know what tomorrow holds but I try. I couldn't garden as hard this year as I usually do, because my bod is messed up, but even so, I feel as if my bod being messed up has forced me to learn to work smarter not harder. And so I've learned a lot in a short time, but only in theory not in practice. I want to get right with the land, harvest its fruits, and I want more than to just survive I want to thrive.

Ok I am FLIRTING with people again lately and I've got my armor of breavery on and my gauntlets of friendliness and my boots of healthy self worth