Kill goblins. Behead goblins. Roundhouse kick a goblin into the concrete. Slam dunk a goblin baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy blacks. Defecate in a goblins food. Launch goblins into the sun. Stir fry goblins in a wok. Toss goblins into active volcanoes. Urinate into a goblins gas tank. Judo throw goblins into a wood chipper. Twist goblins heads off. Report goblins to the IRS. Karate chop goblins in half. Curb stomp pregnant black goblins. Trap goblins in quicksand. Crush goblins in the trash compactor. Liquefy goblins in a vat of acid. Eat goblins. Dissect goblins. Exterminate goblins in the gas chamber. Stomp goblin skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate goblins in the oven. Lobotomize goblins. Mandatory abortions for goblins. Grind goblin fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown goblins in fried chicken grease. Vaporize goblins with a ray gun. Kick old goblins down the stairs. Feed goblins to alligators. Slice goblins with a katana.
@matrix
The goblin walks into a tawern
And batman made sure he never makes that mistake ever again.
Q: what do I need?
A: 3+
Q (rolls a 3): cool! now what?
A: ooh, tough luck, you rolled a 2, so you
Q: I rolled a 3!
A: due to a random act of divine loathing for Goblinkind, your 3 became a 2
Q: did you even roll for that?
A: not 'random' like RNG, but like the whim of God. It's God deciding it, you know?
Q: so am I dead?
A: dude, wait for me to describe just how he kills you. The innkeeper--
Q: fuck this! Why did you even let me roll a goblin if you were going to run the game this way?
A: so that the goblin would suffer