@LukeAlmighty Problems concentrating, complete avolition, especially towards things I want to do. Been going on for... well, forever I guess. Was a golden child, retarded adults were cumming all over themselves about how "smart" I was, "ohh, look at this lil' genius, he reads so well in 1st grade, so mature, so responsible". Not once has it occured to those imbecils that perhaps it's not the best choice to instill delusions of grandeur in an 8 year old.
When I inevitably stopped succeeding at everything first try, I was bombarded with criticism, that I'm lazy, wasting my potential, y'know, like I'm doing it on purpose. In 4th grade I think it was, my homeroom teacher (obese childless liberal cat lady) sat me down for a talk and outright accused me of being malicious or some shit, because I wasn't "having control over my troublemaker classmates" like it's my fucking job to do that.
What's worse I believed her and turned into a kid worthy of being shot in the head the moment I opened my mouth.
Somewhere in there my father went out of the picture (good fucking riddance), meaning there wasn't anyone left to keep me in check.
Nobody has ever taught me how to study for anything, because supposedly "I only had to read/hear something once to instantly memorize it", no fucking clue where they got that from. Grades started slipping in high school, which I still breezed through, because it was easy to con everyone into thinking I knew what I was talking about. First semester in uni lost all motivation, didn't see reason to try anything ever again, burnout, depression, SSRIs, therapists, none worked, someone told me it looks like ADHD to them, got diagnosed quickly, hence the me(ds)th.
Shrink was cool, actually, outright told me it's possible to manipulate the tests, even unconsciously, that it looked like ADHD to a T but could still be something else.
And it was. No need for meds now, just had to stop deluding myself.
90% it was a psychological issue, or I really am built different.
Anyhow THE DRUGS ARE WEARING OFF