YZZAJ @Jazzy_Butts@gameliberty.club

My spirit animal is now hedonism bot

🥵

Going to put on tiny toon adventures and rub coconut oil all over myself

I wondered, was that an angel? Was I an angel that did wrong with it's powers? Was that what that was? Was I seeing the past, what I had done? Was my life on earth a reincarnation and punishment for past deeds? Or was that an alternative earth? Was it real? It might as well have been, it felt real, and if that's the case, am I evil? If it felt real, and that's the first shit I did when I got a taste of power, and I was just a fucking kid, what the fuck am I?

I have never had another dream like that. Obviously it was just a dream, but it fucked with my head for a long time before I decided that.

I'll always remember the most fucked up dream I had, I had it when I was like 8, in the dream, I realized I was dreaming, and I could make myself fly by *believing* I could fly (very Peter Pan), and while flying I looked down ona crowd and blew it up with my mind, but my aim wasn't very good so it was just random shit getting blown up like a meteor shower was going on. I fly down, floaty like, feet first until I'm walking. I was a child and so in the dream even though as far as I was concerned I was grown, my body was very small compared to now, (I think that takes a little bit of the edge off this very fucked up dream). After touching down, I watched the people panic and run, the ones who noticed me were freaked out. I started blowing more shit up with my mind (I watched a lot of power rangers I guess) and then began cannibalistically eating a child (a peer, an equal, as again, I was a child at the time of this dream) in front of their mother, as an insult.

Then things got weird. And I don't know what the fuck this means, it was just a dream, it had to be, but a thin man in a dark suit descended down before me, I could not move, without moving or looking away he wiped away the scene, so it was just the two of us in a white void. He was above me, and I was below him. He said to me something which I could not hear all of, but it was something like "we're taking it (the power) away, you don't get to ....(something, unintelligible) anymore"
and then he was gone, and when he left, I woke up, and when I woke up, I was afraid.

Remember when Rixty minutes came out and everyone was like "this is gonna be like treehouse of horror they'll do it every year" and then they didn't and it sucked

People: Don't touch a childs penis
Doctor: *touches childs penis* "It's ok because I'm not making the child feel good" *stabs and cuts childs penis while grinning while the child tries to scream itself to death*
People: This is ok and normal, because he's not making the child cum

I'm fairly sure this being my only window to the outside (this screen) is not a good thing? Maybe? But last time I went out there it was bad. Everyone was lying, or predating on other humans, I was...changed. I was told, until I believed, that I have no power, that I, am an observer. I was born and grew as a doer, in first grade some punk tried to punk me off my seat on the school buss, so I cracked him in the face with a dog chain. That's when they started fuckin with me. When they said, this one ain't a bitch faggot, he keeps goreing the other niggercattle, so they began the long arduous process of breaking me. At 9 they started with the forced druggings. That lasted until 15, and by then I was broken. All will gone, except for one desperate need, to remain unmolested, once the molestation stopped. I didn't know how broken I was for years, and years. I went blindly through life, thinking things would be good now that I had paid my dues, but I was wrong, the change that had occured within me had left me unable to function in this world, in the real world, not the world of faggots and paperwork and queers and bitches, but the real fucking world. It's all a scam, a sham, a fraud, don't believe them when they tell you that to belong, you have to give up your soul, never give up your soul, just shut down, but never give in, or they'll change you, and then you won't be you anymore. It's better to go non responsive than to entertain demons who are hypocrites. It's too late for me, my life was robbed. Don't trust the doctors, or the administrators, or anyone who is a smarmy faggot that chose a life of faggotry and scamming.

keep alove the lessons, keep alove the pain, but yet it must be compacted, compressed, put to sleep, so it doesn't interfere, but not discarded

kill kill kill it, no, can't kill it, keep it alive, need it, ugly doesn't matter, need it, what if, one day what if, need it, can't be without it, hurts, burns, can't think, can't trust, lock it up, have to set about controlling it again, but it's so much bigger now, so much

Gnashing teeth, ripping, tearing....no....how to be nice...be nice...nice...soft.........lock it away, put it away, but don't kill it, just make it be quiet....how...how to make it go out of mind, without it dying...how to make it go dormant...need suggestion, recorded, custom, lock it away with trigger and wipe memory

Take care of your body! They are liars! Brain doesn't get you through 20 miles of jungle, brain just SITS there. You need to move? WELL THEN YOU NEED TO MOVE! And if you can't? SUCKS TO BE YOU! Don't buy that line that you can talk your way or think your way out of anything, be ready to run, be ready to crawl, be ready to jump, or you'll die before you get to kiss your sweetheart.

I feel like that one robot in robocop 2 who ripped its own fucking head off

I HATE this agonizing physical form! GOD IT FUCKING SUCKS! THIS IS SHITTY! THIS IS THE SHITTIEST EXPERIENCE! WHY? WHY THE FUCK? WHY THE FUCK IS THIS? WHY IS THIS? WHY? I EXIST TO EXIST??????? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS FUCKING SHIT?

My father...let me tell you about my father, what I knew of him through experience, not what I was told (there is a difference)

This man, short of stature, like some kind of deranged hobbit, would almost certainly be drunk, not quite stumbling drunk but in a stupor. He would tell me about the evils of the world, and would threaten me with beatings for not paying attention closely enough to his ramblings. He would accuse me of lying when I had not, mostly about my feelings. He would accuse me of not taking him seriously, or disbelieving him when I had not done either. He would smell strongly of cigarettes. For years I would deeply inhale any fabrics I encountered which smelled of smoke (if they weren't obviously filthy), I very rarely saw my father and so the smell was a comfort. Until my attitude toward my father changed from one of fearful awe, to fearful hatred. I think it was the lies that eroded my sense of trust, he would not show up, or not deliver on a promise, or not even feed me. I never really talked so honestly about this before. No one would really let me, in person. They always want to interrupt and try to give advice. But there is no advice for this. I just have to live with it.

I'm not sure I'm worth anything
I don't know what I have to offer
I'm very loyal, but very sensitive
I have nothing but my body really, and even that's on loan
Will some other body ever love me? By love I mean affection of the body. I mean the physical signs and pleasures we call love, gentle hugs, encouraging words, soft caresses.
Memories of my mother haunt me, a woman who ones was full of life drained by life, her force expiring as it comsumed itself like a fuse, and I wonder where it had gone...it was there...it was.
Who am I?
What am I?
Why do I feel such sorrow?
Why must I feel?
Why is this, what kind of joke is this?

*gives you food to eat so you don't starve even though I just called you a bullshit motherfucker because I was mad*

Tippy tapp
tip tap
tap tip
tippy tap
tap tap tap
tap
bullshit motherfucker

What is this hell?
Why am I trapped
(in my body)
Why can't I come into your body?
Why am I alone?