b e a r d @beardalaxy@gameliberty.club

Had a dream that they built another one of my favorite sandwich shop where I live. I used to work there and it's such good food but they weren't doing too hot already and when COVID came around they all shut down except for one that's super out of the way for me. I gotta make it over there again though because who knows how much longer it's got. They all got cannibalized by another sandwich shop and the one that's left is the only one where there isn't this other shop literally right next to it. I enjoyed seeing the regulars there who would always pop in for some food and music, even if they didn't tip me they always came back. I miss the train rides to some of the locations, hour long moments to myself where I'd just be listening to music and eating a cookie.

Brought me back to the days when I worked there. Better times in those years right after high school. Didn't have to work retail because I actually made all the money I needed playing music. Rent was almost half the price it is now. All my friends weren't busy as hell or just off doing their own thing and we hung out all the time. We would get up to all sorts of antics, played PSO so much together that they would sleep on the ground at my place just to keep playing the next day. We had a YouTube channel that most people didn't really care about but it was so fun to run and just joke around with the guys while playing some games... I didn't even play most of the time, I was just happy to talk. I was running really fun Smash charity tournaments that a lot of people actually showed up to. My game was still in its infancy and I was working on it like a madman. I miss those times probably more than anything else. I'm glad to be where I am now all things considered, but things those days were just a lot cooler. Now it's a lot more slow and dull, everyone around me has begun to settle down and I haven't, I don't really want to, but it's not an option I have anymore.

Didn't expect a tiny slice of a dream during this 4 hour sleep period I've had to do this to me. Probably can't go back to bed now, I gotta be up in 3 hours. Hopefully I can squeeze a nap in between jobs today. Think I'll start another test run of my game though, at least fill the time I have right now with something productive.

the US military seems like a place people go when they don't know what else to do with their life and that's always made me sad

if you're suffering from an addiction or just something you don't like, then there is no next time.

your last time was THE last time.

don't tell yourself you'll just do it again, don't tell yourself that you can do it one more time and then you will for sure quit.

your last time was THE last time.

slept for 2 hours at 10pm and it's now almost noon and i'm still awake
i'm simultaneously wanting to kill myself and ready to take on the world