sodium hydrochloride @matana@gameliberty.club

@beardalaxy idk, imo the innuendo is really obvious, especially for a target audience
the girl is also the peddler's equal

@LukeAlmighty I lost the video explaining this, but basically they're wired with all important cablework being outside of a logical and designated place

@beardalaxy
Oh, my crate is so full,
I've got chintz and brocade.
Take pity, oh sweety,
Of this lad's shoulder.

I will, I will go out into the tall rye,
I will wait there till the night comes,
Once I see the dark-eyed lass,
I will showcase all my goods.

I paid no small price myself,
So don't bargain or be stingy,
Bring your scarlet lips to me,
Sit closer to this fine lad.

The foggy night has already come,
The daring lad is awaiting,
Hark, it's her! The desired one has come,
The merchant is selling his goods.

Katya is haggling with care,
She is afraid to pay too much,
A lad is kissing his lass,
Asking her to raise the price.

Only the deep night knows,
What they agreed upon.
Straighten up now, oh tall rye,
And keep their secret scrupulously!

Oh, my crate is so light;
The strap is no longer cutting into my shoulders!
And all my lass took
Was one turquoise ring.

I had given her a whole piece of calico,
A scarlet ribbon for her braids,
A little belt - the white shirt
To strap on while haymaking.

The sweet one put everything
Back into the box, but for the ring:
"I do not want to go around dressed up
Without a fiancé!"

Oh, you foolish young ones!
Did she herself not bring
The half-flask of sweet vodka?
And she did not take the gifts!

So stay right here!
An unbreakable promise I give:

Once I empty the crate,
I'll return home,
And you, my Sweetheart,
To God's church I will lead!

All through the rainy night,
The young man runs,
And catches up to a grumbling comrade
In the village.

Old Tihonych swears:
"I really thought you were gone!"
Vanka only smirks-
I sold the chintz!

@beardalaxy unfortunately, this is a classic case of localisation: this has literally nothing to do with the original (unless it used some other variant, with it being a folk song only later turned into a 'proper' poem; but most likely it's just freeform)

even 'satin, silk, and lace' were really 'chintz and brocade', but I won't argue that the former is much better for rhyming in English

@LukeAlmighty wait until you see how our eyes are wired

@beardalaxy based, although also a bit lewd for the 8 graders? maybe you got the more clean version in translation
the songs practically ends on the fun part, though, and there's also the rest of the poem

why the fuck did I read "Korobeiniki" fully, I'd rather forever know it as "that upbeat folk tetris song", why the fuck did I expect anything in a piece of Russian literature other than depression

https://youtu.be/B30dJwKcMpA

some zoomer just had the fucking AUDACITY to "correct" ME about Shadow the Hedgehog lore by going "acktyally, he wasn't raised in a lab on a space colony 🤓☝️" (the discussion was very explicitly about games)

AS IF I NEED ANY MORE REASONS TO HATE THIS POSTIRONY POISONED SORRY SLOP OF A MOVIE

they are also acting SO smug about it by going "ugh, who cares about the original games", like a product they enjoy isn't just a poorly digested version of the art that I enjoyed

"who cares about the original-" well a fuckton of people obviously did, if some executive thought that it would be a good idea to make a movie based on the original! speaking of "nobody cares" and "the superior live action version sells better", how's the Witcher live action going? how's the Star Wars franchise going? Avatar? Capeshit? a fuckton of other slop?

a normie would probably be caught off guard by the number 'two' suddenly transforming from 'ni' to 'futa'

https://youtu.be/n1fGyTHgabk

@bruhmomento @LukeAlmighty mahvel, being capeshit, traditionally is pretty close to "talking anthropomorphic animals" on a cringe scale, and even with what they call now josswhedonisms, the movies could be very sincere

in fact, my worst movie going experience was when Endgame was airing, and the theatre was full of normies who flat out didn't give a shit and were mostly busy chatting in their phones and being normies overall; they just went there because it was The Popular Thing

@LukeAlmighty Shadow mostly dodged cringe, that's pretty much the only positive thing

@LukeAlmighty you could count Sonic Adventure 2 as my special interest, something I love dearly, and have many fond memories of, and enjoy even 20 years later, and can hold long speeches of pure condensed autism about it

and they didn't even name it in the credits

neither did they name authors of some musical tracks which were in the game originally

they even fucked up Live and Learn

how the fuck did they fuck up perfection

@beardalaxy @LukeAlmighty it wasn't supposed to be fun

children should've been leaving crying, dead inside a little, but getting a little bit more mature in a healthy way from experience

or maybe not to that extreme degree, but still, they did attempt drama in the end, after already fucking up entire pacing with "haha funny"

and kids were laughing even at the very end and we got Tails literally explaining what happened and how everyone should be sad, and then almost instantly back to funni comedy and heartwarming family fun!

"but it's for kids!"

yeah, so was Sonic Adventure 2

@LukeAlmighty I dunno, really, should I even write an autistic gigapost or should I even bother, because the movie commits the same sin of all modern mainstream media: it is afraid to be sincere and is hiding behind ill-placed "haha funni" tiktok shorts

and if it isn't sincere, why should I be, even if only to screech

@LukeAlmighty no they didn't

they missed the tiny itty bitty key plot detail, that Maria was supposed to be a sick child, isolated in a sterile environment, in fucking space, never able to touch grass in the most literal sense, never to feel wind on her skin, with no known friends other than a single kid whom she treated like a little brother, and no way to step foot on a planet which will literally kill her... and she loves it nonetheless
when she's running from GUN, she knows that she's doomed either way, and yet, even after being dealt a very bad hand from birth, even after being quite literally shot, she isn't bitter or resentful
she just asks Shadow to take care of the little blue ball of death she loves so much

im the movie she's just a regular happy-go-lucky healthy kid on fucking roller skates, I have no idea why she even got attached to the edgelord

@LukeAlmighty they made a fart comedy out of the most dramatic storyline in Sonic media