Found out that these are so your wiener stands A LOT when you wear the underwear lmao
It doesn't come with a fake wiener. That means that the picture of the guy in the previous post is his real pp 
It makes your shitter look cute and comfy but I don't think I want to sit on something that will get splashed and soaked in shid piss water every time. 
Nothing too bad here... until you realize the shop's name is Jesus' Smokeshop and they have the holy man himself smoking a blunt. 
I couldn't stop laughing.
Found a ballsack that glows which attaches to your bicycle. I want to buy it and wear it to the beach to see if people notice my nether regions are glowing and my huge bouncy balls. Also a sticker skin for your credit card that has doge or... Terry Cruz for some reason!
Got a two in one screenshot yesterday when I was confirming receipt of an order of mine. The hand looks so weird and awkward because of the clearly photoshopped colored pencils.
A Hello Kitty shanker so you can be adorable while murdering. 
Mini figure with shaking booba, over 1000 units sold. Wow das alotta booba! 😤
And some kawaii cock plushies for your girlfriend but I'm sure you won't have one after giving her one of these. (unless she's based with a sense of humor, which is rare for wahman)
Another weird gem. Swole Sanrio characters keychains and My Melody is doing a JoJo pose because of reasons, I guess. There is also an option of getting a fat fuck one. Hello Kitty's head is attached to Hulk's body...
Who is this for?! Clearly, it is for me because I bought the JoJo Melody one. They're literally like $1. 
More weird shit in an unfortunate literal sense.
AliExpress also has a colorful assortment of uncanny Nicholas Cage products that are somewhat comforting to me because they remind me of the good ol' internet.
So a couple of days ago, the site recommended a random Shrek tapestry and once I clicked on it, my entire feed got completely derailed with weird tapestries and other bizarre shit I'll put in the next post. Now I really want to rewatch Shrek. 
Almost bought the shirt but I really have too many shirts already!
The eye medicine came from another day but I love the savagery. 
Not everything they sell is total junk, like this cozy pizza blanket although I think the picture they have here is an ACTUAL pizza.
The Shining inspired statue also looks quite good!
I found some underwear that "protects your children" but I don't know if having a plastic dome covering your nuts is very practical at all!
Lastly, a very friendly Harambe shirt.
Fell into another weird rabbit hole, this time of peculiar cellphones that are actually functional with a sim card.
I want to go back to monkey so I can use the Hello Kitty flip phone. 
Also featured some definitely not Coca Cola and Pepsi cellphones. Calo Caco and Ppesi.
I want to think that the "phone anti theft" on the 3rd ones is simply because they are so fucking shitty, nobody would possibly think of stealing such garbage.
Admittedly, I haven't been on AliExpress much ever since finally finding the right color wig my doll needed but here's some weird shit from the last few days because I ordered some clothes.
The full body stocking is just cursed. It looks like something you would find in a crime scene! I would be very scared of the zipper breaking for this junk and being trapped.
Next is a crying banana keychain (with sound) that was fused together with a cat. It sounds as terrible as it looks!
Here's the awful crying banana cat in action. The way the girl smacks the shit out of it kills me 
These are supposed to be "gifts" but if someone gave me something this awful, I will just assume they hate me.
I ordered some new baggy pants yesterday to replace my shitty ones that are 8 years old, so I once again found some peculiar knicknacks staring back at me.
These keychains don't look too bad (maybe a little tacky) but the girlfriend ones have guys in them lmao
Since it's 2023, maybe it's intentional.
Then there is this chimkem Mcnugger tetris game from McDonald's. I think it's really cute! It even comes with the little box. This was an old toy that was released ages ago, so I wonder if these are replicas or old stock. It's almost $20 but people are buying these anyway! For the true nugger enjoyer.
Probably one of my favorite things about AliExpress are the extremely horny reviewers for some of the sex toys. They're always in my recommendations now after looking up silicone repair glue a while back.
I'm sure these guys would post the entire ass balls inside them if AliExpress let them. I have already seen dudes post their junk while reviewing underwear. As long as no skin is showing, you can post it. This person in the review is very happy with the balls in their ass. At such a cheap price, I hope it doesn't get stuck there.
Another bizarre find is this inflatable butt plug. This just looks DANGEROUS imo. It looks like a trip to the ER. I wonder how this even works but imo, you should be careful with your body in this matter because you only get ONE body. If you burst your asshole, rest in piss. 
Finally something more lighthearted are these shoe soles. The advertisement has some hilarious Engrish. I guess if you buy the soles, there is no more shitty feeling of pain on your foot. This is likely what they meant lmao. The reviews are good!
Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised but you can order fake pubes from Aliexpress.
And here I have been trying to laser off my annoying pubes when I could have sold them for $22 instead. 
In a previous post, I had found some plush toilet seats and said I wouldn't buy them because shid piss water would get on them.
Now, I present you a glow in the dark plush toilet seat BUT this one has a plastic underneath, so the shid piss water doesn't soak in and can be cleaned. I assume the other seats may also be made in the same way.
Not gonna lie, I fucking love glow in the dark stuff and this plush seat has THE SAME STAR PATTERN AS MY BLANKET, WHICH ALSO GLOWS IN THE DARK. 
This must be a universal glow in the dark fabric that the Chinese use.
I also found a glow in the dark "clean your piss" sticker to adhere onto toilets.
@veru
The smell would be unbearable after a week.
b e a r d
@veru have you seen vargskelethor's wish videos?
@beardalaxy I will have to look through those at some point! I used to watch Joel a lot many years ago and he definitely inspired me to start streaming. I could never be as funny as he is or have that wonderful contagious laugh though. Man is truly a gem. 
@veru if you rewatch shrek you should watch shrek retold. it's an acid trip of a movie but it's fun. the little bits that are changed catch you completely off guard.
@beardalaxy ty fren. I'm going to watch it right now!
I actually really love Shrek 1&2. There's something about these movies that always makes it feel like I'm watching them for the first time. I feel the pacing for it is just perfect. Each part of the movie doesn't feel rushed and it's a good time. Though I still think the original is better than the sequel.
I haven't bothered to watch the rest because I heard they sucked and it was just milking the franchise at that point.
@veru yup shrek 2 is the canon end to the series no cap
shrek retold is insane. you'll love it.
@veru bruh the body bag thing would be great if it was actually insulating. I would leave my face out for sure but for camping when it's a little cold out but not cold enough for like a -30 degree bag that could be nice.
I'm sure most people who are buying that are using it for sex stuff though lol.
Heart shaped box
WHAT IS THIS FOR
"egg's location"
I love this because everytime I open the app, there's always some bizarre product. Guess I will keep adding onto the thread if I find more weird products.