YZZAJ @Jazzy_Butts@gameliberty.club

I feel trapped in the past like reverse samurai jack. I can't move forward or forget. I need things to be said and done that will never be said or done, to make me feel whole.

I told my therapist about the funkytown video and how it effected me and she was totally on another planet in terms of her understanding. She's never seen someone with their face flayed off still alive, and that kind of irritated me, I wanted to talk with someone who would understand what I've seen and instead I got a church mom.

@doorroo Yes they make me feel grounded, and comforted, I didn't know I could feel this way again.

I feel like it's very fucked up that ever since my mental snapping I haven't had ajy family pictures hanging up. My walls are bare. And I think that's...bad? Inhuman? So after living like this for 20 years I decided to dig out my old picture box and put some pictures up.

@ghost I've been trying for years to get them to give me my pills and they won't, they think I just need to do yoga

@doorroo Oy vey, someone questioned the tribe, get the zoom call set up!! It's this sort of reaction that causes people to dislike them regardless of their identity.

I remember the book explained that all light, visible and invisible, is what we call radiation, and everything that "is", is radioactive! Some things are brighter than others, and cast a different hue.

One of the second facts I learned (that sounds funny) was that light is energy, and that all matter and energy are interchangeable, and so therefore everything is made of light, and then I started thinking about God...

One of the first facts I learned after my mental shattering was that the speed of light is 186,282.397051 miles per second. That's extremely fast.

My schizo timeline
1990s: discover the concept of lies, disbelieve everything, my reality is shattered
2000s: pour over documents, books, everything I could get my hands on, get put on meds, go insane ('they' identified me and targeted me) - also learned about consciousness
2010s: 'They' considered me a failed experiment and cut me loose, though they keep me in their back pocket and keep an eye on me, they milk me for ideas but that's it, I'm disposable
2020s: They did something to me, I don't know how but they somehow weakened me, I tried my best, did my best, to give them good ideas, but it wasn't good enough, I have to try harder, have to learn more, give them better ideas, so they let me keep existing

@rats @grumpy @doorroo @prouddegenerate

It'll never end. You realize that, right? There's no such thing as collapse. Maybe things get shaken up but by the end all that's changed is a different nigger is fucking you in the ass now.

@Charfuhrer Ok based take

@doorroo Juicy!

Fuck it I'm gonna go watch a white girl podcast about serial killers to get my drama fix